I must rewind. It was one week after Finn was born and we were embracing his colorful little self and all the possibilities of his new normal. We had been praying fervently for good reports as we prepared for numerous appointments with neurologists, ophthalmologists and dermatologists in the coming weeks. We were raw and a … More Manna
This morning I woke early with a sense of utter calm, a deep knowledge that the God of comfort was filling every inch of my home, that He was near. And then I remembered. December 2nd. A year ago today, over 5,000 people visited this newborn, highly unattended blog to read No Heartbeat, to this … More Remembering
Finn is four weeks old today. How time plays tricks. The final days I waited for him to emerge — a week past his due date — those days stretched forever. And now we have blown through four weeks. Weeks that have been filled with joy, fear, sadness, hope, gratitude, laughter… and a whole lot of Jesus. … More Dependent
We welcomed in the pediatrician on-call the morning after Finn was born to learn that the Port Wine stains we had been informed about the day before, due to their extent and location {particularly over the forehead and eye}, indicated the possibility of a neurological disorder entitled Sturge-Weber Syndrome; if there were “stains” on the brain, … More There is No Normal.
As I begin to wake up from the nauseous exhaustion that was my first trimester of pregnancy, my brain seems to be coming alive again. Where I was before in survival mode, {and admittedly still have moments when fatigue hits and my brain draws blanks!} I do feel as if I am gaining capacity and … More Intruders
The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of heart ache and heart full and heart healing and heart dancing and heart thankful… but a new one has entered the lineup: heart betrayed. I wrote deep into the night on a Monday almost two weeks ago, and released my throbbing heart to a sleeping world, unable to … More Betrayed
I have read that Eskimos have numerous different words in their native tongue to represent snow in all of its forms. I find that brilliant. I confess I am a word nerd. I have often joked that I should be a neologist {maker of words} because reading the dictionary might be one of my favorite … More Not enough words.
A lot of my young adult life, I found myself seized with indecision, so desirous of God’s will, of what people described as His best., and yet so uncertain of where He was directing me, how to hear from Him, whether or not I was hearing from Him, that I just spun myself in circles … More Intersections
While I remember so many things from my friend’s journey, one think I cannot get out of my head is all the blood. Blood counts, blood tests, blood draws, blood transfusions, good blood, bad blood… Frankly, I have always thought it a bit odd when we sing so joyfully of the blood of Jesus and … More There is Life in the Blood
I remember when I received the news. Cancer. My vibrant, young, faith-filled, precocious friend, Cristina. Cancer. It was late in October, after my birthday, just before Halloween. She was only a sophomore in high school. She inspired faith and hope in all the girls that gathered in my living room to talk of life and … More Fighter
