THE TETHERING PLACE

I have a dear and brilliant group of girlfriends who live in Seattle and are incredible thinkers and listeners and processors. We have been meeting for over 8 years and despite this season of life when we have all begun to have kiddos and have moved and our weekly gatherings have become more scarce, I trust that they know my heart better than anyone. No, they may not know the minutiae of my life, but they know my story and my soul.

I also owe them a lot of money, I think, because for all the years I had never seen a counselor, they all had and shared with me all they learned {one of them now is a counselor!} and I reaped all the benefits without paying a cent.

We would share of our faith, our fears, our insecurities, of our hopes and our despair.  We talked of how often we would edit our own thoughts or emotions, with things like, “I shouldn’t feel this way, but… ” or “I know it’s awful but…” or “I can’t believe I thought…”

And one day, in light of a recent counseling session a dear friend had, she responded to one of those self-editing statements with:

“Isn’t that curious?”

It stopped me in my tracks.  It was a gracious, truth-seeking, terrifying question that sought to hold with open hands a thought or statement those same hands hungered to pulverize seconds before.

Because so often, it is the things that we are editing, trying to erase or excuse or explain away, that need a little more attention. That need to be poked and prodded and given a voice. Filleted with grace.

When I feel defensive about a comment my husband made about the state of our house, isn’t that curious? When I want to rage and throw something {or someone} out the window when one of my toddlers screams in defiance, isn’t that curious?” When I feel envious or lonely, {not to mention guilt ridden for the time and energy wasted} after a not so quick bout with my Facebook newsfeed, isn’t that curious? When I feel like a burden because I cannot drive, or walk or shop or cook for myself, isn’t that curious?

It is a question that peels back layers, that reveals wounds not healed that need tending to by a great Physician, insecurities and control issues that need to be released to an all knowing and loving Father, behaviors and habits that need to be altered from the inside out by a gracious God who indeed renews our minds and our hearts as a result of time spent with Him.

So how do you feel today? What is the emotion or thought or behavior you would like to edit out, to wash away?

Isn’t that curious?