Fight for the Write

I was awoken at 4:30 am by a damp, handsome little man who had too much juice before bed. Oops. Last day of summer party backfired in that one small way… a rinse ensued; a makeshift bed was made; I hopped back under my own sheets but by then my mind had begun to run. And in the dark and quiet moments of the early morning, my thoughts went toward the Lord as they often do when the world is asleep. He fished out the words placed on my heart yesterday morning… “Return to the fight. Stand strong. Keep pressing in.” And I knew they were specific to this space.

Decidedly, summer is wonderful and routine-less and has been a time of great growth for this mama and our family, physically and emotionally and spiritually. But my writing has clearly atrophied. Little margin due to late night writing flurries choked out by early bedtimes {thank you, nausea and heartburn and exhaustion}, and lack of “office hours” mid week with no sitters as I was resolved to soak up my hours with my boys left little time to write. My time with Jesus was rich, though given to brief moments of silence before sweet bed-heads greeted me in the morning or to stolen retreats on the couch while the boys actually played together for a string of minutes without injuring each other or needing some sort of snack.

And in the midst of it all, I couldn’t shake that my season of writing was merely on hold. I often would hear the lie that “it is crazy to think  you can start and maintain a blog with a fourth baby on the way, a ministry to co-labor in, a business to run” … and would feel shamed by just one more thing I had started and failed. And while the lie might be fabricated with facts, it certainly is not the truth.

The enemy uses facts to accost us — things our logical mind cannot easily argue with. But God overrides those factual circumstances with His powerful, life-giving truth and invites us to live by the spirit, not leaning on our own understanding. {aka, the scale says a particular number, which would inform you that you are not currently beautiful. But God’s word says you are wonderfully made on purpose and for a purpose. Beautiful. Or, your best friends are getting married, and you are still running after the Lord, single and longing, which would inform you that you are not worthy or chosen. But God’s word says you were hand picked by Him, that he has your name written on his hands, that he knows your every thought, that your concerns and dreams are His. Worthy. Chosen.}

Sure, this writing thing might be crazy, but not impossible — isn’t this true of any venture put on your heart by the living God?  And so I am giving in to this gnawing feeling that I just must begin again, with no expectations of frequency or even to fulfill anyone else’s wishes {thank you, by the way for so many of you reaching out to ask for me to keep writing!} but merely to be faithful to the One who called me to it who says I am not yet finished.

Aptly, this is the first day of school for us {technically “meet the teacher” day, but whatever}. It is a day of new beginnings, and of promised routine. A day of picking up and dusting off those things which were purposely abandoned for a time to get refreshed, to get perspective, to regain purpose and momentum. I have always loved the start of the school year… the hope of new things learned and fresh starts and organization and oh my gosh new books and clothes and school supplies and falling leaves and scarves and boots and my birthday… seriously, fall is my favorite.

So with newfound energy I begin again, with no expectations or promises, but just the resolve that I will use the time I am given to write, which for me is to be tethered to the One who gives life and hope and accomplishes the impossible. And in so doing, I pray you are inspired, encouraged, that you too would fight for that thing that keeps you in awe of your creator and nudges you toward your savior.

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But now in a single victorious stroke of Life, all three—sin, guilt, death—are gone, the gift of our Master, Jesus Christ. Thank God! 

With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don’t hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort.

1 Corinthians 15:57-58

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